Orifice Politics

Cut your hair, meet this due date, that's what Wand'ring Prophets hate,
Stacks of files go on for miles yet pace yourselves just like reptiles,
Take those lunches, breaks in bunches yet still complain about time crunches,
Dress up nice but no suits o' thrice, business casual will suffice.



There are files and copiers, bosses and overtime,
Mondays and customers are all partners in crime,
Yet so confined to a world of relentless monotony,
Such statements are made without a trace of irony.

So many files, so many student accountants,
Who are up to their pleats in self-centered entitlements,
Phoning and emailing with long-winded inquirements,
Still they are slaves to our indecipherable requirements.

So tomorrow I return to my cliche-d job,
Slowly turning into a business/casual slob,
Typing and filing all day might sound easy,
But without some rebellion it gets mighty queasy,
At heart I've found that I really don't care
for our short-sighted society that makes me dispair,
All I can think is that humanity will meet doom
Because it spent all its time in a halogen room.

The Office cont.

Apparently Tobias the Wandering Hippie Prophet, armed with his Degree of Uselessness, has more employability than he thought. Today was the first day at my new job as a registration officer at CASB. So far so good, got my own little cubicle to go with my files, folders, chairs and desks. Right downtown too with a discount at the downstairs gym and walkways to various shops and such. It's my own little self-contained world away from all the commoners. Updates as they come.

The Office

Had a job interview today (in Alberta, it's pronounced "yob." Learning is POWER!). For an office job. With files, folders, chairs and desks. And maybe, just maybe, if the office is lucky, a little me in its future. Long interview. Not gonna lie to ya. The kind of interview where no matter what you say you aren't sure if it was right or not. The kind of interview where you tell them one of your hobbies is working on that novel of yours. Oops. Maybe. Who knows? Next week, I'll know if my ramblings were better than those of the next interviewee. Or if I should have got that haircut and not gone into a button-down office job interview looking like Tobias the Wandering Hippie Prophet.

New Death Star not yet fully operational

People take on a pretty irritating air whenever they talk about Alberta's economic might. Doesn't matter if they live here, in Prince George or on Hoth they all say the same thing: "There's so many jobs in Alberta right now! Why, to not have one within seconds of crossing the border can only mean that you are so preposterously useless and unqualified that, were this a few hundred years ago, you'd be treated as cattle! You're not cattle, are you?" To which I reply that I am not, and thank them not to bring up the nature of my degree again. Of course, to do a proper analysis of the financial wherewithal of any Alberta town, you must use what's known as the Subway Standard. Each town's Subway wages and benefits are ranked and compared, and the highest (seemingly Fort McMurray, where Subway compensates their employees on the same payscale as Major League Baseball and provides each employee with their own personal doctor, dentist, orthodontist, and ophthalmologist) wins the valuable distinction of being used in every British Columbians' example of Why Alberta Is Better Than Us.
So still no job, though not for lack of not trying. Got a few applications in which means I'm right where I want to: Playing the Guilt-Free Waiting Game. Both jobs I'm qualified for and before you even ask, neither involves wearing a beret and reciting anti-corporate modern poetry after hours in an independently owned, Fair Trade-selling coffee shop. If neither pans out, then I stop playing the Waiting Game and start playing Call People You Know and Pretend to Like, which isn't as much fun because more people are playing and all think they know the rules better than the other. Hopefully the Waiting Game goes on for a while yet.
Here's a few more pics of Mexico contrasted with the drive from P.G. to Edmonton. *SIGH*

New Death Star for Darth Forehand

Bloglecting came wooshing back suddenly over the last month and I had to jump back on the fad-bandwagon. It was a busy month, finished my B.A. in Political Science with a Psychology minor, briefly ended the long-term relationship before jet-setting with the family off to Puerto Vallarta. A good time was had by all, if not a tanned time. Then, two and half days of horrible shit! Moving? Never again. My one break in the stress was New Year's Eve and the inevitable New Year's Day Resolution to Never Drink Again. So far so good, if only because of a sinus infection and sore throat that I'm still getting over. Here's a few pics from Mexico: