WELL!?!?

Doesn't the fact that I spent over 400 clams to replace various computer parts make it even EASIER to waste valuable homework time?? You bet your finely-shaved ass it does! Now, with my ripping machine and its pimpin new case, I can screw around at a speed just barely faster than previously. In this spirit, I suggest a fascinating article to read if indeed you have nothing better to do. If you have better things to do, then read it RIGHT AWAY.

Let's talk about the Jedi!!

Deep Morals

If I was a yellow-tinted light and worked at Overwaitea, I would NEVER shine myself on the bananas. If I did that, people might think they were buying yellow, ripe bananas when in fact they are buying green ones. To shame I put those other yellow lights. For I am a yellow light of principle, not deceit. Goodnight everybody.

P.S. Since he has stolen my date for the Christmas party, Mad Scrolls is in charge of finding me three replacements. If they are rented for the evening, I don't want to know about it.

Attention!!!

Single White Male, age 24, non-smoker, likes llama ranching, tire-swinging, bowstaffing, and flon. Looking for female companion for staff Christmas function. Must be willing to pay, drive to and from various locations, and bring equally attractive open-minded friend.

re: prisoner status

This is a communique from the Workers' Revolutionary Association of Grant MacEwan College. This is a final message regarding prisoner #230019976, Christopher D. Chanter. Since the ransom demand for about $3.50 has been rejected and no more attempts have been made to save him, we will be sending him to our gulags for work detail. On Sunday, November 13, 2005, he will be sent to work for our affiliated faction, the University of Northern British Columbia, where said work detail will commence until we deem him fit to return to productive society. We regret that you were unwilling to negotiate on his behalf, and it is because of this unwillingness that such harsh punishment is necessary. Remember, it would have only cost you about $3.50.

Part 2: Attempted Categorization of Sport-Specific Irrational Emotional Response Syndrome (SSIER)

Continued from Previous Post

Part 2: Management or ownership of a team represents a large portion of said team's identity. Teams can Suck if their management falls into any of three categories: Committed to Winning This Season (CWTS), Looking Ahead to the Future (LAF), or Staying Competitive With a Sensible Budget (SCWSB). Since every team must fall into one of these categories, any team can be declared to Suck. If a team is CWTS, they have a high payroll and can be accused of stealing away other teams players, commonly known as Buying a Team. If they are LAF, it is understood that they have a low payroll and thus are in a Rebuilding Program, which is management-speak for being unwilling to spend money to win now. If a team is SCWSB, they are in the middle: They will not Win Now because they don't spend enough, and they are not trading away enough good players to bring in new prospects for the Future. Thus, by simply looking at the whims and emotional states of the fan, a team can Suck because of any management direction.
A team's fans are highly influencial in determining the Suck quotient of a team. This is because opposing fans relate to them directly. If fans are not located in a Real (insert sport here) Market, they Suck. If they are fans of a team with a long tradition, they might Suck because of the determination they show in supporting a team for a long time. This is akin to declaring oneself a Liberal Party supporter for life: the battle lines have been drawn permanently. However, the largest reason fans Suck is the phenomena of "bandwagoning." This refers to the act of ignoring a team for most of its existence, then suddenly becoming a devout follower when that team finds success. This is found in two cities: cities which are used to having an inferior team, and cities that are not traditional markets for that sport. The result is a new legion of fans that often do not understand the sport, their team, or the history behind the success yet still profess themselves as long-time fans. The resulting hostility towards Bandwagoner Fans is extremely high, since True Fans will resent the lack of suffering and sacrifice BF's have endured.
In this brief, entirely serious and academic analysis, one can see how a team is said to Suck simply because one of their components exhibits certain behaviors. The question then is with so many reasons a team could Suck, how can a fan ever choose a team for themself? The answer is challenging. Since most teams end up Sucking for one reason or another, choosing a team to cheer for is based on a few criteria: if the team has enough Good Guys (players who block shots, hussle hard, grind in the trenches, and are underpaid and underappreciated), if the coach is in his first year after having Grinded It Out in the minor leagues, if local ownership has recently saved the team from moving to a different city, and if the team's fans base shows little fluctuation regardless of the team's successes. By examining these factors, a fan can properly choose a team to cheer for without hearing constant expressions of "That team SUCKS!!!"

Eye of God?

Cool pic of the Helix Nebula.

Check this out for what it is: http://www.snopes.com/photos/space/eyeofgod.asp

Alert!

A new study shows that 69% of all white, middle-class, Canadian, 24-year-old students believe statistics and polling methods have their place on non-peer reviewed publications, like blogs. A further 21% believe that given the chance, they would punch out Paul Stanley of KISS.