What's a "phauraum?" you say? Well, it's hard to explain. Some would say it's a special time in young boy's life when the trees seem a little greener, roses smell fresher and fauns are harder to enslave and sentence to lives of servitude. Others would say it's that funny lump that forms on one side of your neck but not the other. Actually, that's just me. When I had mono they said it was a swollen lymph node. Fine, but now I have just one of them swollen instead of having them on both sides. I guess I have half-mono then, which means I'm just really bored. It's been a while since I've just written a rambly, self-absorbed entry.
STILL no job, though fortunately the Alberta economy is slowing down. Some would say that's bad, but those are the same people who's rather get an A on a math quiz than a C. Normal people know that getting a C means that people will expect less from you, am I right? Yeah? Can I get an amen? No? Good, fuck you with your amens and godblessyous and gezoontiEEts. "A's". What a bunch of assholes.
I stand firm in my applications for government jobs that I only scratch the surface of being qualified for. See, there's a difference between "being able to do a job" and "being qualified for it." Maybe not in the minds of those doing the hiring, but certainly to me. Just one phone call and one solid interview and I'm gold baby! That probably means I'll have to shut down this blog, or at least get a more anonymous pic, but that will be the worthwhile cost of a job that, if I get the one I want, will allow me to tell people at my high school reunion (why does it still matter? It's not fair!) exactly what I want to tell them:
Some stupid redneck: "Yeah, I've made Grand High Foreman at Some Depressed Soon-To-Be Shut Down Mill, they pay me $58.38/hr and I only have to work three 16 hour night shifts a week. No big deal. It's pretty awesome, I just bought four new snowmobiles, an second trailer and a John Deere skidder."
Some snotty asshole: "Yeah, I graduated from Yale, Mega Cum Loade, and now I'm Vice-Awesome Delegate to Farawayfullofsandistan. Just seeing the plight of the Farwaynese and their struggle to achieve autonomy against impossible odds, and North American disinterest, makes going to work each day seem so REAL, you know?"
Some stupid redneck and Some snotty asshole to Me: "So, what are you doing now?"
Me: "Actually I can't talk about it, it's Classified."
Other people: "Oh come on!"
Me: "Sorry guys, I'd be dead tomorrow if I said anything."
Other people: (die in a puddle of their own relative lameness).
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