Fair lady, I found you

No new chapter yet, first I have to explain why I couldn't write anything in the last month and whatever. I really expected that $700 billion buyout to go through in the U.S. so I'd have some funding for this and when it didn't, well, I just collapsed on into myself like a dying star. That and Telus refused to acknowledge the existence of our new place; to them we lived not in a basement suite of a forty-year house full of phone jacks and ethernet ports all over the damn place but at the Nexus of the Universe, a place between time and space where matter is crushed by massive amounts of gravity. It's like that Family Guy where Peter discovers his house isn't on the map and he secedes from the United States. Except, like I said, our domicile simply wasn't there at ALL.

Undeterred (or rather, EXTREMELY deterred, since it took them a month to figure out that this was the reason none of their orders were going through), Telus rose up to smite the pagans by showing the true depths of its divine power. When all seemed lost, when even the most faithful began losing hope and images of a false prophet (Shaw) began to arise it was Telus, in a miraculous display of invention, who broke the Law of Conservation of Mass and created our house out of nothingness. Tears welled up from the tired, the poor and the huddled masses as they saw, for the first time, a shocking display of the last horse finally crossing the finishing line and figuring out the problem. It then came to pass that having been blessed with existence, the House of Forehand would be granted the services for which they had prayed. And it was good to go.

The phone call begat the appointment. The appointment begat an entire shift missed without anyone's ass showing up. The entire shift missed begat an angry phone call and a $70 credit. The angry phone call begat a technician. The technician begat a phone line. The phone line (ever read the Bible? This is how it goes, okay?) begat another appointment two weeks later. The second appointment begat Forehand showing up late for work and angering his boss, but it also begat a most rewarding bounty: Internets, in all it glory (most of it anyway, it's only ADSL), along with HD Television (sort of, it's pretty compressed since it has to go through a phone line), a Harmony universal remote control (oh no, I'm happy about that. Those things are fucking sweet), and once again access granted to my virtual social network. And it was good to go.