Mononucleosis. That vicious virus, that sickening sickness, that debilitating disease. With the help of Wikipedia, a brief self-analysis and a little hypochondria, I have deduced that I am once again afflicted with mono (or as it's more commonly known, "Pfeiffer's disease"). I had mono once before in 8th grade, punctuated with several coolness-points-increasing bouts of public vomitting. Yes kids, the best way to make new friends, in a new school, in your new "city," is to heave all over the gym floor during a P.E. exam. I was once again diagnosed with mono about four years ago, but the timing wasn't right so I chose to neither show any symptoms nor pass it along. Still, I was assured by a medical "professional" that I absolutely DID have mono and I WAS sick. Come to think of it, I think that was the same guy who sold me my Monster Power Conditioner.
When I woke up today, I was experiencing symptoms of a REALLY sore throat, achiness, extreme fatigue, and this past week I'd noticed my neck had swollen lymph nodes. Those just happen to be the four main symptoms Wikipedia associated with mono. The cure for mono, as everyone knows, is a doctor's note to push back the three twelve-page papers I have due in the next three weeks.
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2 comments:
Damn straight you use your disease for good or evil but use it. So like your boss called my house looking for my bitch right? and he starts talking on the phone not knowing that when the answering machine comes on I can immediately hear the convo on the other end. So its dean from Golds and he is like What the FUck the line was just busy and now its answering machine Aimee is fucking screening her calls....***BEEP*** Hi aimee its dean call me at golds when you get in.....So i like called dean back and gave hima peice of my mind, long story short with you gone from work they are fucking up big time.
That's my fearless boss. I think the words you're looking for are "tactful" and "charming." The reason you can't find those words is because they've never, ever been associated with dean so you'd best look somewhere else.
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