Freestyle

The minute you walked in the store
I could see you were a man of the Bible, a real Puritan,
Cowboys boots, face unclean,
Say, wouldn't you like to know what I'm thinkin' that's so mean?
So let me get right to the point,
I don't mock and tease every man who's beneath,
Hey Real Puritan!
Spend a little money on your teeth.

Yeah, that's pretty liberal and superior of me. Here's some more!

Here comes Tom and he's lookin' for a movie,
Not sure what but there'd better not be boobies,
Them's no good 'cause skin makes Jesus cry
And Tom's little daughter is still living in a lie,

It's fine if you show lots of people being shot,
Beheadings and revengings, we'll take them by the lot,
Virtue and stoicism shall always win the day
Keep your sword and your gun, just don't forget to pray

See, Tom watches movies every week with his kid,
Gotta keep things clean so weekly sins will be undid,
Exposure to violence is easy enough to explain,
Any villain not from here just blow away the remains,

Yet sometimes there arises often after a good shooting,
The worst kind of smut, the kind you'll find polluting
The minds of our young'uns, their souls and their hearts,
What must we watch? Some LOVING dares start!

"That's offensive," Tom says, and with awfully good reason,
"I knew it would happen, after the execution for treason,
A nice family film, full of killing and double dealings,
And I had to shut it down, because those two showed their feelings!"

Hey that's fine Tom, I understand, I says with a smile,
Parenting's hard enough without all that is vile,
Why can't it be easy, without challenges, without danger?
After all, sex ed should be left up to some stranger.